Christmas Jokes
Where does Santa hide his gift to
Why
does Santa have three gardens? He likes to "Hoe, hoe, hoe!".
What
do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle.
What
do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claus-Trophobic.
Why
does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots
him !
Who delivers Christmas presents at the Haunted Opera House? Phantom
How many chimneys does Santa go down ?
Stacks and
stacks!
Why
does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh and not pigs?
Because when Pigs fly everything that wasn't
supposed to happen...does.
When
Santa is on the beach what do the elfs call him?
What do you call Santa's-father's-sister?
What do you call Santa's annual barn dance? A Ho, Ho, Ho Down!
What
does Santa write on his Christmas cards?
ABCDEFGHIJK_ MNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L , No-L) !
What
did
Why does Santa love
donuts? Because they have "Hole,
Hole, Holes!"
Christmas Triva
Did you know that…
In 2004,
the German post office gave away 20 million scented stickers for free to make
Christmas cards smell like a fir Christmas tree, cinnamon, gingerbread, or a
honey-wax candle.
A surge in
Christmas cards came in the 1940s, courtesy of World War II. Friends and
family, far away fighting, received cards with patriotic messages and symbols,
like Uncle Sam.
Many
organizations produce special Christmas cards as a fundraising tool. The most
famous of these enterprises is probably the UNICEF Christmas card program,
launched in 1949.
An average
household in
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The Chicago-based
Montgomery Ward company, department store operators, had been purchasing
and distributing children's coloring books as Christmas gifts for their
customers for several years. In 1939, Montgomery Ward tapped one of their own
employees to create a book for them, thus saving money. 34-year old
copywriter |
Writing in verse as a
series of rhyming couplets, May tested the story as he went along on his 4-year
old daughter
Sadly,
May's story "
1. "The best of all gifts
around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."
~
2. "If there is no joyous way to
give a festive gift, give love away."
~ Unknown
3. "I will honor Christmas in my
heart, and try to keep it all the year."
~ Charles Dickens
4. "The magi, as you know, were wise
men - wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the
Babe in the manger. They
invented the art of giving Christmas presents."
~
5. "Christmas, my child, is love in
action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."
~
6. "Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your
heart. To a customer, service.
To all, charity. To every
child, a good example. To yourself,
respect."
~
7. "Christmas waves a magic wand
over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."
~
8. "Blessed is the season which
engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love."
~ Hamilton Wright Mabi
9. "I have always thought of
Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant time; a time
when men and women seem to open their hearts freely, and so I say, God bless Christmas!"
~
10. "Christmas is not a time nor a season,
but a state of mind. To cherish
peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of
Christmas."
11. "Love came down at Christmas; love all
lovely, love divine; love was born at Christmas, stars and angels gave the
sign."
~
12. "Where charity stands watching and faith
holds wide the door the dark night wakes - the glory breaks, Christmas comes once
more."
-- Phillips Brooks
13. "Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the
delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his
youth, and transport the traveler back to
his own fireside and quiet home! "
--
14. "The only real blind person at Christmas-time
is he who has not Christmas in his heart."
15. "Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with
quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always
to be kind."
--
16. "There is no name so sweet on earth, no name
so sweet in heaven, The name, before His wondrous birth, to Christ the Savior given."
--
17. "Christmas is a season for kindling the fire
for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart."
18. "Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories
gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone."
--
19. "It is good to be children sometimes,
and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child
Himself"
20. A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish, it grows small.
--
21. "May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your
blessing all year through!"
-- Unknown
22. Christmas carolers sing about peace on earth, but
they don’t tell us where.
Unknown
23. It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas
in the air.
- W.
24. I wish we could put up some of the Christmas
spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
-
25. "The mystery of the Holy Night, which
historically happened two thousand years ago, must be lived as a spiritual
event in the ‘today’ of the Liturgy," the Pope clarified.
"The Word who found a dwelling in
26. At Christmas I no more desire a rose Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled shows, But like of
each thing that in season grows.